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Teen/Adolescent Suicide
By Gladys Maria Boada

     What lies in the mind of a child going through adolescence? Do we remember what went through our minds when we were going through our own adolescence? Maybe we do not remember or we prefer not to remember. A child becoming an adult goes through many changes, including physical, mental and moral. Regardless of wealth, creed, religion or race, the changes teens and pre-teens go through are very similar. The kind of family and friend support they receive is the deciding factor in how the stressors these times bring will affect the child.
     The number of suicides among adolescents has risen more and more. The times of adolescence can be turbulent ones. The stressors that teens deal with are vast and overwhelming; new experiences, new relationships, decisions for the future, and physical changes make these times quite difficult. Some teens feel overwhelmed by these changes, and some do not understand or know what to do or how to act during these changes.
     According to APA online, suicide is the second leading cause of death among teens, and 53% of teens that commit suicide were substance abusers.
Although many stressors that teens have to deal with, such as physical changes, are obvious to the naked eye, there are many traits that cannot be seen. Teens need strong family and friend support to help them during the turmoil. If teens have to witness family problems such as divorce, alcoholism, domestic violence, or if they themselves experience sexual abuse, they sometimes turn to substances to medicate the pain, or they become depressed.
     There are many factors to consider when it comes to teen/adolescent suicide. We will look at a few of these factors: how suicide may be contemplated; what warning signs to look for; the risk factors involved; and how early recognition could lead to successful treatment.
The topics that will be covered are as follows:
          1. How depressed teens become suicidal
          2. Myths and facts about suicide
          3. How to prevent teen/adolescent suicide
          4. Early recognition of childhood depression
          5. Music lyrics and the effects they have on teens
          6. Peer pressure
          7. Sexual abuse
          8. Sexual preference
          9. Signs to look for and risk factors
          10. What to do when a teen/adolescent admits to contemplating suicide
          11. How to help a child in need
          12. Informational books on suicide
          13. Resources and crisis hotlines

How depression becomes suicide

     To better understand the cause of teen/adolescent suicide, we must first understand what is going on inside a suicidal teen’s mind. Many teens that contemplate suicide suffer from depression and very low self-esteem. Many of these teens try to reach out and tell anyone who listens that they feel this way, but not in those exact words. Parents, teachers, and friends would be the first to notice a change in the teen and, hopefully, to question it.
     If the teen’s parents are going through a divorce, then this could be a stepping stone for the teen to start feeling depressed. The parents might become so involved with their own problems that they, without realizing it, ignore the child that so desperately needs them. These teens go out to seek the attention they do not get at home and thus find themselves in the wrong crowd. Drugs are then introduced. Unfortunately, most teens that are depressed do not know they have a disorder.
     Boys commit suicide more often than do girls. The difference is how the suicide is committed. Boys will use more aggressive ways of committing suicide, such as firearms, while girls, for the most part, use pills. It is important to take suicide threats seriously. “It doesn’t seem right that a teenager who has lived for such a short time would choose to die.”

Teen suicide

     A lack of parental interest may be one of the problems that many children have to face. Parents should be aware enough of their children’s personality traits to recognize any change in attitude and any ways that have changed. Parents will then be able to know that their child has a problem.
     To recognize when and if your teen/adolescent could be going through some trauma, there are a few clues that parents must look for to see if, in fact, they do have a dilemma.
          · Has the child’s personality changed dramatically?
          · Does the child have a problem with their boy/girlfriend?
          · Is getting along with friends or parents difficult?
          · Is the child encountering withdrawal from people to whom he/she used to feel close?
          · Is there a lack of interest in school? Are grades failing?
          · Does the child seem bored?
          · Is he/she experiencing difficulty concentrating?
          · Is he/she rebellious in a severe way?
          · Is she pregnant and can’t cope with the change?
          · Have eating and sleeping habits changed?
          · Has personal appearance changed for the worse?
          · Is he/she giving away prized possessions?
          · Is he/she writing notes or poems about death?
          · Does the child talk about suicide, even as a joke?
     These are just a few indicators that a parent should be aware of as a signal that there might be something wrong that must be attended to immediately, before it is too late (Teen Suicide).

Myths and facts about suicide

     It is a myth that when a person talks about suicide, he/she does not kill him/herself. The fact is that eight out of ten suicides have spoken about their intentions before killing themselves.
     Another myth is that people who kill themselves really do want to die. In reality, most people who commit suicide are really confused about whether they want to live or die. When suicide happens, it is often a cry for help that ends tragically.
Yet another myth is that once the depression has subsided, the would-be suicide is out of danger. In actuality, at such a time they are most vulnerable to reversal. Something can go wrong to make the person even worse that he/she was before. The person’s apparent calmness may be due to the fact that he/she has already decided to commit suicide.
     The myth is that when people talk about suicide, one should try to get the idea out of their minds, and change the subject if possible. The truth is that one should take them seriously, listen, let them talk and express what they are feeling, offering any help if possible (Myths and Facts about Suicide).

Early recognition

     Early recognition is the key to prevent and, hopefully, avoid suicide. If parents were to ask their children about their problems, things can get out in the open. Parents should not be afraid to say the word suicide. Saying it might help children think that someone has heard their cries for help. Always assuring teens that they are loved, asking them about their feelings, and just getting involved in what they are doing is a start to preventing children’s suicidal thoughts (Warning Signs and Risk Factors of Suicide).

Music lyrics and the effect they have on our teens

     The impact of music lyrics and music videos on our teens has become a very important issue since music has undergone a dramatic change in the past 40 years. This should be of vital interest and concern for parents. Lyrics have become increasingly explicit, particularly when it comes to subjects like sex, drugs, death, and violence. Heavy metal is one of the main styles of music with lyrics that pertain to death, drugs, injuries, homicide, suicide, and sexually transmitted diseases. These lyrics pose a threat to the health and well-being of those teens that listen to them and take these lyrics as a poetic venture. At the same time, music is an important part of children’s lives. Most teens do not fully understand the lyrics of the songs to which they listen. They tend to interpret their favorite songs as if they were about love, friendship, religion, and other topics related to teenage life. Preference for heavy metal may be a marker for alienation, substance abuse, psychiatric disorders, suicide risk, or risk-taking behaviors during adolescence.
     It is in the parents’ best interest to listen to the lyrics of their teens’ favorite songs and make sure they are not violent, sexist, drug-oriented, or antisocial (Music Lyrics and the Impact on Our Children/Youth).

Peer pressure/sexual preference

     A teen’s friends are a major influence in his/her life. Teens have a choice as to whom to have as friends. Sometimes, however, the ones that are not good friends are more evident in their lives, and have more of an effect on teens, than their true friends, an unfavorable effect. When our teens decided to rebel and do what they want to do, they make themselves to those who do not approve of what they wear, their hair color, jewelry, and choice of sexual preference. This scenario makes it difficult for teens to be able to express themselves. Other teens may make fun of them, their own family members may be critical, so teens have nowhere to turn but to a group where they are more readily accepted.
     The new group of friends could be a bad influence on teens. Here is where teens might discover drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, and all-around bad habits.
     If parents become aware of their children’s old or new atmosphere and who surrounds them, they could very well take part in the activities of their children.
     We many times take for granted that our teens may be gay or lesbian. This can be very difficult for parents, but discussing the issue of sexual preference and letting teens know that they are accepted for who they are could mean the difference between life and death for them (Teen Suicide).

Sexual abuse

     Many children who have been sexually abused keep it to themselves. Parents do not become aware of these situations, because the children are either threatened, or become withdrawn, the perpetrator is someone in the family, or the children feel guilty. The lack of communication between parents and children is a key factor in children’s silence on this issue.
If the sexual abuse comes from someone in the family, children become even more withdrawn because they cannot hide from the person causing them harm. The worst scenario would be that of one of the parents or an older sibling as the perpetrator. Children in this situation feel that there is nowhere to go, so they seek help or escape in substance abuse and then the idea of suicide starts dancing in their minds. Unattended, depressed children can become suicidal; it is just a matter of time (Depression in Teens).

What to do when a teen admits to contemplating suicide

     If signs are evident that a teen/adolescent is contemplating suicide, the parent asks the teen if he/she is thinking of it, and the child says yes, the parent will become alarmed and may not know what to do. Although it seems like a difficult and probably impossible task, here is a look at some approaches:
Listen
          · The child must be encouraged to talk to the parent or someone he/she trusts about what he/she is contemplating.
          · There are no simple solutions, so the parent should not feel obligated to find a solution or even to give advice. Listen to the
            child and try to imagine how you would eel if you were in his/her shoes. Trade places with him/her mentally to get a better
            look at his/her picture.
Be Honest
          · If the child’s words or actions scare the parent, the parent should let the child know. If the parent is worried, the parent
            should let the child know. Being phony will not help. Do not pretend that everything is all right when in reality it is not.
Share Feelings
          · Let the child know that there are times when everyone feels lonely, sad, hurt, or even hopeless. Let the child know that you
            share those feelings too. The child should know that he/she is not alone.
Get Help
          · Professional help should be sought; it may be crucial.
          · There are many prevention centers as well as crisis hotlines that can help.
          · Schools have programs that deal with suicide. The parent should make him/herself aware of these programs and how they
            work. Contacting the proper person at the child’s school would be appropriate.
     There are listings in the blue pages of the telephone book that have plenty of help 
lines and hot lines to help with these and other teen/adolescent problems (When a Child Talks about Suicide). 

Helping a child in need

     When a child says he/she wants to commit suicide, the person who hears it must 
take it seriously. Many times people don’t take an announcement of suicide seriously, believing that if a person were going to commit suicide, he/she would have done so already. This is the confusion between the actual statement of intent and the cry for help.
     A person must listen with his/her heart, not only with his/her ears. As soon as the words are heard, the person must put down what he/she is doing and make 100% eye contact with the child when he/she is talking. Always give a child respect, time, praise, encouragement, consideration, and the same respect given to another adult.
     Let the child know that loss and loneliness are natural in life. Help the child understand that a friend can make that choice of walking away from a relationship and that life does not end there. There are other teens feeling the same way, wishing and hoping to find someone like him/her to talk to and with whom to become friends.
     Parents are so busy now and practically don’t have time for their children. Some 
parents ship their children out to different activities so they can find time for their own things. Some children would rather share time with their parents instead of going to camp or playing soccer. Parents need to hug their children and tell them that they are loved and that no one id perfect and always let the child know that you are there for them (Warning Signs and Risk Factors of Suicide).

Informational Resources on Suicide

     In America, there are many resources that can be sought for many problems. It is just a matter of picking up the telephone book and “letting your fingers do the walking.” There are many hotlines for many different purposes. Here is a list of the main hotlines that a parent might need once their child/children hit the teen/adolescent years.
          National Drug Abuse Hotline (800) 662-4357
          CDC AIDS Information (800) 342-2437
          National Runaway Hotline (800) 621-4000
          Nat’l Hotline for Missing &
          Exploited Children (800) 843-5678
          Youth Crisis Hotline (800) 448-4663

You can find more information about these hotlines and how to find more in your area at <http://www.child.net.teenhelp.htm>.

Reading about Suicide

     It is also smart to know about the subject before it actually happens. Being prepared ahead of time is a good thing. Parents should be knowledgeable on the subjects that concern them the most. There are many books on suicide that can inform a person on what to look for and what to do if ever faced with this kind of situation…. 
     Reading about a subject that matters to so many people will help the reader not only if they are faced with the different types of situations but also helping others with theirs. A person/parent can read and get informed on what and how to do things to try to keep stability in their home, but first and foremost the person/parent must care for what they are reading and learning to be able to function when and if these times of turbulence occur in their lives.
     Parents today are much different from the parents of yesterday, but not as different as the parents of tomorrow will be. If parents/guardians would take more time to realize that the baby that grew into a child and then became a teenager and soon becoming an adult is becoming whatever they molded them to become, this is a reflection on them.
     Life is too short as it is; when there is a teen/adolescent contemplating suicide threatening to make their life even shorter, it is time for the parent/guardian to look within themselves and see what they can do to save their child. All we need is love.

References

Books on Suicide.
<www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos…ingofmadneadepr/026-3410640-0957263>.

Childhood Depression and Early Recognition. <www.aacap.org/web/aacap./ whatsnew/fassler.htm>.

Depression in Teens. <www.depression.com/health_library/special_groups/ special_01_teens.html>.

Helping a Child in Need. <www.yellowribbon-chicago.org/childneed.html>.

Crisis Hotlines. <www.yellowribbon-chicago.org/hotlines.html>.

Music Lyrics and the Impact on Our Children/Youth. <www.aap.org/policy/ 01219.html>.

Myth and Facts about Suicide. <www.jaring.my/befrienders/youth1.htm>.

National Help Resources. <www.child.net.teenhelp.htm>.

Teen Suicide. <www.psych.org/public_info/teen.html>.

Warning Signs and Risk Factors of Suicide. <www.yellowribbon-chicago.org/warning.html>.

When a Child Talks about Suicide. <www.sanpedro.com/spyc/talks.htm>.

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